What the hell?!?

     About a week ago, I found out that my recently semi-estranged mother was telling lies about me to our family. Telling both my grandmothers that I wouldn't help out and pay rent which is exactly NOT true, and telling them a fabricated lie about why me, my fiance and our young son aren't living there anymore. It pisses me off majorly because I thought my mother was better than that. I thought that was something that we would never have to encounter. Boy was I wrong about that.
     In addition to every fucked up thing that's happened since we've moved here from "Tha City", this is the fucking cherry center-piece topping. So it's not bad enough that my mother is obviously traumatized and brainwashed into completely protecting her husband (not my father) and in the process was willing to besmirch my name to those that I love dearly.
     Woe is me!!!
     Trust me, there's plenty of bullshit that properly corresponds to this matter but for now this is my gripe. So over the weekend I finally talk to one of my grandmothers and she kinda-sorta convinced me to not be so hard on my mom. Ok fine Gma!!!! Kuz I love her so dang much and because when my mother was so doped up on drugs and would forget that me and my brother were at Gma's waiting to be picked up, she essentially took on an iconic maternal role in our lives.
     Then I go and visit my stepfather's mother and she tells me the same thing and to try and understand that at this point it's the drugs that are doing the talking. Ok fine Gramma!! Geez, I'm tellin' you these old ladies sure are convincing!!!
     But essentially I understood where they were coming from and honestly I just don't have it in me to fully hate my mother. As I've always said, " Fathers are a dime a dozen but you only get one mother". I feel like I was raised better than that. How would you feel if your only daughter hated you? Well, I have a son and fuck that....That ain't happening!!!
     So I text my mom and tell her that I love her and that I'm thinking of her- the same stuff I always text her because it's the truth. And I also throw in a few pictures of the little one to really make her day. She loved it!!!
     I guess the point that I'm trying to get across is that people are always going to do you wrong. It doesn't give them to right to keep fucking you over and it doesn't justify thier actions either but if you can come to the reality about this and accept it, maybe you can have a little peace in your life. I'm not always at odds with my mother but there are things that I do feel strongly about-things worth voicing my opinion over.
     All my life I've had this thing about being taken advantage of. I don't like it and I used to go out of my way to make sure that the opposing person got exactly what they deserved. I was almost built out of being vengeful. I carried it in my heart and wore it on my sleeve. That was before I got pregnant and had a child. Since then, I've seen a slew of violence, anger, drugs and even a death (or should I say "murder"). Things that have forced me to really understand what is going on.
     Well, that's enough for now...I'll chat with you guys later!

Keep Love In Your Life,
A.Rose